george carlin quotes government

Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. Life is a zero sum game. George Carlin, 36. George Carlin. "Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a.secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control . You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. And just dumb enough to passively accept it., The government doesnt lie, it engages in disinformation., Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let the government and industry poison me a little bit every day., Government wants to control information and control language because thats the way you control thought, and basically thats the game theyre in., Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation., I believe the government should step in where the free market fails., Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them., A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does.. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. })(); } else { You have owners. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. [CDATA[ Manage Settings Its never going to get any better. Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. I have certain rules I live by. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. But he loves you. function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. And fight songs. the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. George Carlin quotes on the American government In America, anyone can become president. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. Deal with it.George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.George Carlin, I dont know how you feel, but Im pretty sick of church people. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin, 54. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. 4. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. The people are f***ed. page: {requestId: "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", meaningful: "interactive"} Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. It will not be with jack-boots. Its never just a game when youre winning.George Carlin, If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrheadoes that mean that 1 enjoys it?George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes.George Carlin, Religion is just mind control. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. This is what we have to offer. Enjoy! The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, 15. }, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. They own you. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("grsession", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. Tom, Id like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy. These days, Trajedi. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, It turned out I was pretty good in science. 3. Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. You dont. Its important in life if you dont give a shit. We havent tried that for a while. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. How are YOU going to tackle today? var source = getCookieWithoutJQuery("source"); George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. This is the best we can do folks. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. Really? return null; Its interested in its own power. George Carlin "The planet is fine. Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. He loves you and he needs money. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. In America, anyone can become president. George Carlin Quotes Government : "Most of the government wants to control information and language so that it can control you. I have certain rules I live by. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. Try spelling Evian backward. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin's Estate, via HBO. Lists. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? If you enjoyed the following article we humbly ask you to comment, and help us spread the word! if (a[a9]) return; The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. Thats the problem.George Carlin, Let a smile be your umbrella, and youll end up with a face full of rain. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. } The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. } stylesheet.type = "text/css"; They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. Right in the fucking head! My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. I've set my own rules to live by. try { I love individuals. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin, 29. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. People are wonderful one at a time. He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. That is against their interests. Forget the politicians. var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); George Carlin These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. They will do anything for the unborn. // Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. You and I are not in the big club. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. The planet is fine. They own all the important land. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Religion class was always an easy class. On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). "https://":"http://";i+=f?g:k;i+=j;i+=h;c(i)}if(!e.ue_inline){if(a.loadUEFull){a.loadUEFull()}else{b()}}a.uels=c;e.ue=a})(window,document); A comedian can say things that you may not want to hear but need to. ' George Carlin, 30. You know why? Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. Aparently we're not ready for that! " If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); You should die first, get it out of the way. He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. !function(){function n(n,t){var r=i(n);return t&&(r=r("instance",t)),r}var r=[],c=0,i=function(t){return function(){var n=c++;return r.push([t,[].slice.call(arguments,0),n,{time:Date.now()}]),i(n)}};n._s=r,this.csa=n}(); there's no such thing as rights. "Never argue with an idiot. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. Did you enjoy this article? " Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Men are often so foolish as to boast and value themselves upon their passions, even those that are most vicious. if (isRetina) { Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work.

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